Journal 5/9/12

Hiri came by. It was good to see her more herself. Like the life was back in her. She said she was in no shape yet to be anyone's doctor again. So, she said we could talk as friends.

She didn't talk much about what happened to her. I told her, if she needs to, I'll be here. We talked about what happened with me, though.

She knows about what happened. She said...

There's a reason why doctors who treat combat vets have panic buttons under their desks, Ami. A reason why their patients don't handle weapons.

She was worried I might, I don't know. Forget where I was, hurt someone. I explained it isn't like that. I mean, those Blooders, sure, but not other times. I'd never... Never hurt someone I shouldn't. I know who the people who are important to me are, even when things get bad.

Then she asked me to tell her about what happened, and I did. What happened, and how it didn't help the way it used to. How Cia came afterward and got me, and she's been helping.

We talked about why killing them didn't help, like it used to. I don't feel better, but I think we might have something. Like at least I know I might feel better sometime.

I might talk to Cia, about being careful. If I'm sleeping and flail around or something, I don't want her too close. Don't want to accidentally clip her.

Journal 5/8/12

Things might be better. I thought they were better before, though.

Cia looks tired. I want to tell her it's ok, that I don't need her help anymore. I don't want to be wrong, though. We'll just have to figure something out.

Journal 5/5/12

Cia's been doing so much. It - I guess it's the way, for people like her, people where she comes from, with family. Or maybe the way it's supposed to be. Taking care of family.

It seems crowded, and less private, even though there are only the three of us. Not in a bad way, though.

I helped with dinner.

Sleeping is ok.

Journal 5/3/12

Been helping with Cia's garden. Trying to put in more real plants.

Good to see Cia, here.

Memo ALL CREW: ACTING XO

TO: ALL CREW

FROM: Captain Silver Night
SUBJECT: ACTING XO
AT: 08:00 1.5.112

As of 08:00 today, Col. Aerer will be acting XO while Commander Invelen is on leave. Maj. Tukaya will be acting head of S&L during Col Aerer's temporary assignment.

Silver Night
Captain
Utopian Ideal

Employee Record: Saernal Teirild

Name: Teirild, Saernal
Rank: Colonel
Position: Commander, Security, Utopian Ideal
Assigned Section: Command, Office located in compartment number 2554D
EID: OSF848513
DOB: 6.12.65
Corporation of Birth: N/A
Place of Birth: Unknown
Gender: Female
Ethnic Background: Sebiestor
Age: 46
Height: 154cm
Mass: 45kg
Eyes: Grey
Hair: Brown
Bloodtype: A+
Augmentations: Redacted
Education:

• 85: Elkuld Military Academy
  

Background:

• See Additional Notes
  

Additional Notes:
Much of Col Teirild's previous experience cannot be detailed for various reasons. A private review by Utopian Ideal senior staff found her experience and expertise more than sufficient. Though details aren't recorded, Col Teirild has a valuable multi-Empire background that will be invaluable in handling security issues in the multi-cultural environment of the Utopian Ideal and other ships that fall into her purview.

Journal 5/1/12

Went to visit Hiri today, see how she was doing. They haven't had enough time to adjust her medication or whatever it is they do, yet, I guess. She's still drugged up. Ashar brought her a present - a sort of mechanical incense burner. I'm sure Hiri will genuinely appreciate it when she is able.

When I was on my way out, I stopped to talk to Alpassi. Hiri must have come out after I left, there were a bunch of deck hands bothering her. Asking her to go with them, to their party, and of course all drugged up she would agree. Sick fucks. The guy doing most of the asking said something about it being 'just like the ones at resettlement.'

We broke it up - and Cia's new XO seems an alright sort, I'm sure he'll handle it - but it just pisses you off.

It'll be taken care of, though. They aren't my people, so they aren't mine to discipline.