Journal 12/23/12b

I talked to Cia, about Vikarion. I think it went well. Well, as much as something like that can. It's a rough subject for her.

I think she's doing okay.

Then we had cake.

Journal 12/23/12

I oversaw my first manufacturing job today. I told Silver I have no experience with this sort of thing.

You had no experience as an XO either, and that has gone splendidly Ami. Really, there's nothing to it. You already did the hard part, this is just giving orders. That's certainly something you done before? It's for the corporation, after all.

For the corporation might be good enough for him, but we both know that's not the half of it.

It's not bad though, he's right. Not after keeping the Ideal running.

Journal 12/22/12

Vikarion wants to talk to Cia.

He managed to send me a message that said, well, pretty much nothing. I talked with Hiri about it.

She agrees it's a bad idea. Like being-Amarr-at-Vak'Atioth bad idea.

I'm going to let Cia know, though. I'll let her know what we think, too. This kind of thing should be up to her, though. There's already been enough in the last couple years - and I think probably before that - that she had no control over.

Journal 12/20/12


It isn't so bad. I don't think I could have handled it before, but it isn't so bad, now. The pod is small, and you're submerged. Not so bad, though. Short trips. No fancy stuff.

Journal 12/15/12c

I went to check on Cia's clone, and see the babies. They have a monitor set up, and you can actually see them. They're far enough along that they look like babies now, more than weird fish or something. The medical people say they're doing well.

The Dr. Nabbobeh says that they can hear, now - they react to sound. I stayed and talked to them for a little while, and I think they could hear me. At least, I think they could tell someone was talking.

He - the doctor - seems to be taking good care of all three of them. This clone had some scratches too, but he assured me it was in good health. He wanted to know about how Cia is doing. I told him what I knew, and assured him that I would get him on the permitted list, like Hiri.

I'm sure Jude's people are very good, but I will certainly feel more comfortable when she is back in the hands of her own staff.

Journal 12/15/12b

Talked to Hiri. She hasn't seen Cia yet. I told her everything I could think of, gave her the info I have. She's going to go see Cia, and talk to Verin Hakatain, too.

She wants to see Silver, too. His insights, she said. I'm sure.

Now I need to go and visit Cia's clone, her regular one. The pregnant one.

Journal 12/15/12

Went to see Cia. She wasn't doing great.

She blames herself, for everything. Like Jorion doing what he did was her fault. Like it's her fault for being torn up by it afterward.

Well, I know how that is. I know it's not easy, not blaming yourself.

I went through some of the stuff that I did, that helped me. Saying it out loud, that it isn't your fault. Even if you don't believe it at first.

I hope it helped.

Journal 12/14/12

I had a talk with Verin Hakatain. I think he just didn't realize he was being an-

I think he didn't realize that what he said would trigger the effect it did with Cia.

I'm going to go see her.

Personal Correspondence: Incoming 13.12.112

TO: Amieta Invelen, Utopian Ideal
FROM: Verin Hakatain
AT: 18:16 13.12.112

You.... you need to talk to Cia. ASAP.

I think I said something terrible to her.

I'm sorry.


Journal 12/13/12


Journal 12/8/12

I went and saw Hiri. We talked about things. Family, now that she knows about Silver. How it was before, and how it was after we found each-other again. Jan, and Cia, and Cami.

We talked about Cia's problem. Someone's going to watch Cia, make sure she doesn't get into trouble sleep-walking. And I'm going to hang around more. Hiri said it will help, me being around.

I read the story Hiri had Cia write, about what's happened. Hiri says Cia takes responsibility, because it would mean she had some control. Like it was for me, and what happened to my platoon when I was captured.

She thinks we should talk about what happened in the tunnels, too. Me and Cia, with her there. To help Cia start getting a handle on it. I mean, Cia saved me. The whole thing was Jorion's fault, For being a crazy asshole.

Journal 12/7/12

Silver and I went to have lunch with Cia.

She's been having nightmares. She cut herself, still asleep, I guess. Herself, and Charlie too, when he took the scissors from her. It was hard to get her to talk about it. I know how it can be hard to do that, though. To share around your problems, even with people you're close to.

I'm going to talk to Hiri. Cia will too. Things will get better.

She said she's thinking about naming the boy Jan. It's a good name.

The quiche was really good.

Journal 12/6/12

Silver and Cia went out in a fleet. Silver got to be bait. Everyone came back alright.

Cia was in a different clone, of course.

Still, it makes me a little nervous. No matter how reliable they say the cloning process is.

If Silver starts going out more often, I might have to make some changes. It creates a different atmosphere, for the crew, when there's the risk. It means we need to push the good, the victories. For the Corporation, for the Republic, for the combat pay!

If you do it right, you get people volunteering to crew the ships that get flown a lot.

Journal 12/5/12

It's strange, having it out. Having other people know. Well, just Hiri so far, but it's not the kind of secret that has to be kept at all costs anymore.

It's kinda nice, really.

Journal 12/4/12

I talked to Silver.

I think maybe I'll think about overseeing some of the industrial stuff. Cia's getting pretty far along now, and it might help if I could take up a little of it for her.

Especially with, well, everything.

Journal 12/1/12

Saw Hiri.

She says Cia's not co-operating. There's a part of Cia's story that she gets up to, and she won't say more. Not can't - won't.

Hiri doesn't know what it is.

I think I might have some idea. I'll have to talk to Cia.

Journal 11/30/12

Really good noodles today. I think they must have hired someone new in the galley.

Journal 11/29/12

Silver's talking about having me take over some of the industrial stuff, help out the corp.

We'll see.

Journal 11/27/12

Finished up evaluations.

Almost stepped on Saer's new pet. She has it really well trained, though.

Well, she's getting it really well trained.

It seems as friendly as Saer isn't.

Journal 11/25/12

Almost done with evaluations. Pain in the ass.

Had a couple of really good salads. Mostly chicken or something.