Journal 12/23/12b

I talked to Cia, about Vikarion. I think it went well. Well, as much as something like that can. It's a rough subject for her.

I think she's doing okay.

Then we had cake.

Journal 12/23/12

I oversaw my first manufacturing job today. I told Silver I have no experience with this sort of thing.

You had no experience as an XO either, and that has gone splendidly Ami. Really, there's nothing to it. You already did the hard part, this is just giving orders. That's certainly something you done before? It's for the corporation, after all.

For the corporation might be good enough for him, but we both know that's not the half of it.

It's not bad though, he's right. Not after keeping the Ideal running.

Journal 12/22/12

Vikarion wants to talk to Cia.

He managed to send me a message that said, well, pretty much nothing. I talked with Hiri about it.

She agrees it's a bad idea. Like being-Amarr-at-Vak'Atioth bad idea.

I'm going to let Cia know, though. I'll let her know what we think, too. This kind of thing should be up to her, though. There's already been enough in the last couple years - and I think probably before that - that she had no control over.

Journal 12/20/12

Flying...

It isn't so bad. I don't think I could have handled it before, but it isn't so bad, now. The pod is small, and you're submerged. Not so bad, though. Short trips. No fancy stuff.

Journal 12/15/12c

I went to check on Cia's clone, and see the babies. They have a monitor set up, and you can actually see them. They're far enough along that they look like babies now, more than weird fish or something. The medical people say they're doing well.

The Dr. Nabbobeh says that they can hear, now - they react to sound. I stayed and talked to them for a little while, and I think they could hear me. At least, I think they could tell someone was talking.

He - the doctor - seems to be taking good care of all three of them. This clone had some scratches too, but he assured me it was in good health. He wanted to know about how Cia is doing. I told him what I knew, and assured him that I would get him on the permitted list, like Hiri.

I'm sure Jude's people are very good, but I will certainly feel more comfortable when she is back in the hands of her own staff.

Journal 12/15/12b

Talked to Hiri. She hasn't seen Cia yet. I told her everything I could think of, gave her the info I have. She's going to go see Cia, and talk to Verin Hakatain, too.

She wants to see Silver, too. His insights, she said. I'm sure.

Now I need to go and visit Cia's clone, her regular one. The pregnant one.

Journal 12/15/12

Went to see Cia. She wasn't doing great.

She blames herself, for everything. Like Jorion doing what he did was her fault. Like it's her fault for being torn up by it afterward.

Well, I know how that is. I know it's not easy, not blaming yourself.

I went through some of the stuff that I did, that helped me. Saying it out loud, that it isn't your fault. Even if you don't believe it at first.

I hope it helped.

Journal 12/14/12

I had a talk with Verin Hakatain. I think he just didn't realize he was being an-

I think he didn't realize that what he said would trigger the effect it did with Cia.

I'm going to go see her.

Personal Correspondence: Incoming 13.12.112

TO: Amieta Invelen, Utopian Ideal
FROM: Verin Hakatain
AT: 18:16 13.12.112
STATUS: Read

You.... you need to talk to Cia. ASAP.

I think I said something terrible to her.

I'm sorry.

-Verin.

Journal 12/13/12

Shit.

Journal 12/8/12

I went and saw Hiri. We talked about things. Family, now that she knows about Silver. How it was before, and how it was after we found each-other again. Jan, and Cia, and Cami.

We talked about Cia's problem. Someone's going to watch Cia, make sure she doesn't get into trouble sleep-walking. And I'm going to hang around more. Hiri said it will help, me being around.

I read the story Hiri had Cia write, about what's happened. Hiri says Cia takes responsibility, because it would mean she had some control. Like it was for me, and what happened to my platoon when I was captured.

She thinks we should talk about what happened in the tunnels, too. Me and Cia, with her there. To help Cia start getting a handle on it. I mean, Cia saved me. The whole thing was Jorion's fault, For being a crazy asshole.

Journal 12/7/12

Silver and I went to have lunch with Cia.

She's been having nightmares. She cut herself, still asleep, I guess. Herself, and Charlie too, when he took the scissors from her. It was hard to get her to talk about it. I know how it can be hard to do that, though. To share around your problems, even with people you're close to.

I'm going to talk to Hiri. Cia will too. Things will get better.

She said she's thinking about naming the boy Jan. It's a good name.

The quiche was really good.

Journal 12/6/12

Silver and Cia went out in a fleet. Silver got to be bait. Everyone came back alright.

Cia was in a different clone, of course.

Still, it makes me a little nervous. No matter how reliable they say the cloning process is.

If Silver starts going out more often, I might have to make some changes. It creates a different atmosphere, for the crew, when there's the risk. It means we need to push the good, the victories. For the Corporation, for the Republic, for the combat pay!

If you do it right, you get people volunteering to crew the ships that get flown a lot.

Journal 12/5/12

It's strange, having it out. Having other people know. Well, just Hiri so far, but it's not the kind of secret that has to be kept at all costs anymore.

It's kinda nice, really.

Journal 12/4/12

I talked to Silver.

I think maybe I'll think about overseeing some of the industrial stuff. Cia's getting pretty far along now, and it might help if I could take up a little of it for her.

Especially with, well, everything.

Journal 12/1/12

Saw Hiri.

She says Cia's not co-operating. There's a part of Cia's story that she gets up to, and she won't say more. Not can't - won't.

Hiri doesn't know what it is.

I think I might have some idea. I'll have to talk to Cia.

Journal 11/30/12

Really good noodles today. I think they must have hired someone new in the galley.

Journal 11/29/12

Silver's talking about having me take over some of the industrial stuff, help out the corp.

We'll see.

Journal 11/27/12

Finished up evaluations.

Almost stepped on Saer's new pet. She has it really well trained, though.

Well, she's getting it really well trained.

It seems as friendly as Saer isn't.

Journal 11/25/12

Almost done with evaluations. Pain in the ass.

Had a couple of really good salads. Mostly chicken or something.

Journal 11/20/12

I went to talk to Cia about what's happened. We were talking and she just sort of drifted off on me. Playing hostess and acting real... I don't know, vague. I'd have thought she was drugged if I didn't know better.

She says she gets lost. I can guess where.

I was trying to explain to her, how things do get better, and Hiri can help her. After that, though, I'm not sure Hiri realizes how serious it is. Well, hopefully she'll realize now.

Journal 11/19/12b

Saw Hiri. She was mostly pretty evasive about, well, most of what I wanted to talk to her about. Don't really blame her, tough position to be in.

On the topic of Dr Nabobeh, I let her know that I had concerns. She gave me a lot of answers that didn't exactly answer anything. I didn't push her too hard. She's the shrink. She should have the chance to sort it out herself.

On what's happening with Cia, she was a little more forthcoming. Sort of. She was real careful to speak in generalities. About symptoms and triggers and root causes without mentioning anyone or thing specifically.

But Silver increased surveillance on Lorraine Roth after the incident where he called Hiri. So I didn't really need Hiri to provide some of those specifics.

Journal 11/19/12

Met with Cia's new CMO, Dr Nabobeh. Seems better than the last guy, at least. Very enthusiastic. Gets a bit carried away with the 'that's interesting' side of it, maybe. He says Cia's doing well. Healthy, her and the babies.

Apparently there might be a little issue with him and Hiri. Noone's fault, really, but as he put it, he's not the first Ni-Kunni doctor that Hiri might have run into. Hopefully it won't be a problem, because I think it's pretty important that they are able to work well together. I needed to have a talk with Hiri soon anyway, so I'll bring it up.

After that, back to my stack of employee evaluations. Joy to the fucking ancestors. Why can't I just get shot at for a living instead?

Journal 11/16/12

It seems like Cia has been avoiding me, and now Silver tells me that he had to call Hiri to help her. He doesn't seem to want to discuss specifics. Says that it should wait for Hiri to figure out what's best, shink-wise.

He has ordered the security watching Lorraine Roth increased, though.

Journal 11/14/12

Silver's still doing manufacturing and research. Cia too, I guess. I haven't really seen her since the trip.

Journal 11/12/12c

I did manage to politly call Lorraine old a few times. So that was ok.

Journal 11/12/12b

Lorrine Roth was - I'm not sure.

I was expecting her to be unpleasant, and she was. In a very fake-happy-hostess way.

I think the whole thing with her - with Lorraine, I mean - is worse than I'd thought. Cia was nearly catatonic, afterward, just being around her. Like when she has trouble, when she remembers the things that happened, kind of.

Charlie didn't seem to notice, or understand. Some kind of cop he is.

There was something about Lorraine that creeped me out, too. Something about her just seemed off, to me. Beyond the whole false over-enthusiasm, or the badly hidden digs at Cia about stupid shit like her weight.

How insistent she was about getting Cia alone, maybe. Maybe I'm just imagining things. I mean, it might be because this is the woman who married Jorion Roth and didn't seem to care what he was. I don't know. Just... something. Something wrong, hidden in there. Or maybe she's just an unpleasant woman who treats my sister poorly. I think I might increase the detail that keeps an eye on her, in any case.

At least the visit is behind us, and hopefully neither I nor Cia will need to deal with her again any time soon.

Journal 11/12/12

Charlie's family seemed nice. The orchard reminded me of home, all those plants. Bigger of course, it was a good sized building, and the hydro-bay on the station wasn't nearly so large. Still.

Really good pastries, too. Apple, of course.

Cia's mother...

Journal 11/11/12

Charlie wants Cia to meet his family. His parents. He wants to meet hers, too. Well. Her mother, obviously. Jorion is unavailable, and he knows that.

I don't think Cia is thrilled. Maybe she's just nervous. I'm kinda looking forward to meeting Charlie's family. They have an orchard. I do like apples.

Cia's mother...

From what Cia has - not so much said, but from what I kind of guess, she's the kind of parent that makes me glad I was grown in a tube.

Journal 11/9/12

Silver's started doing industrial stuff again. He's also started talking about getting me to oversee some of it. We'll see.

Then again, that would be a good example, for Cami. Something a bit safer. Responsible. All that shit.

Journal 11/6/12b

Talked to Charlie about what happened to Cia. Why she has some... Some concerns about someone in a father role. Or, well, I think it's why, I guess it's why. It makes sense. It seems like if I knew, there should be something I could do about it, though. Shit, I don't know. This is why she hired Hiri.

I told Charlie to wait. More.

I don't know of anything I can do to help. I mean, Jorion's gone. She has family around her. What else can I do. Get both of them to talk to a shrink. Make sure Charlie goes away, if it comes to that. If it doesn't get better for her.

Hopefully it will, and she'll be happy. Or at least she'll get so she doesn't run into those things in her mind that make her remember shit she shouldn't have to remember.

Journal 11/6/12

I got a chance to talk to Cami more. I still don't think she's, you know, thrilled about things. Course, neither am I, with how reckless she was. She's trying to buy her way out - A ship for Silver and a land car for me. Or maybe it's her way of saying sorry. I declined. Silver accepted the ship - a Fleet Stabber. Accepted it, but he's still going to make sure she meets his standards again before he'll teach her in the sim again.

I tried to explain, about being angry and upset because we were scared - all of us. I think she got it. Kind of.

She brought up that we do dangerous things, sometimes. Fuck my ancestors, she's right that I haven't exactly been model, for not doing some stupid, dangerous shit.

She really does seem to be trying hard, with the corporation and everything.

Journal 11/1/12

Went to the Last Gate. Haven't been going out much, what with everything, but it was Verin Hakatain's birthday party and Cia went, so I thought it would be nice to go out.

It was. I'm glad it wasn't too hectic or anything, just Cia and Verin and I - at least by the time I got there. A couple drinks and a bite to eat, with friends. It's been a long time since I've seen Verin, and apparently quite a bit has happened, so I guess it might have been good for him too.

Kinda feels like things are getting back to normal.

Journal 10/28/12

I started to talk with Cami, but there was an interruption. Need to continue the talk later. Think it was going ok.

Journal 10/28/12

I went to talk to Hiri. She had a cut on her cheek; she said it was ceremonial.

I told her about Ishukone, and we talked a little about my jumping back to my body, and I told her she should talk to Cia and Charlie.

We talked about Cami too. She said I should talk to her. I guess she's probably right.

Journal 10/23/12c

Cia lost the Firefly. Rogue drones.

She hadn't JCed or anything. She was in the same body. The pregnant body.

They don't usually go for pods, Rogue Drones. What if they had, though, this time? Or if some other enemy had shown up. That would have been it.

I'm glad she's alright. Glad she got her people out. It does kind of make me want to shake her till her teeth rattle though.

Journal 10/23/12b

Lucky.

It's called a bripbrip, and Saer named it Lucky.

Journal 10/23/12

Saer came back from her trip with Hiri.

She has a pet.

Saer. With a pet.

Journal 10/22/12

I met up with Cia at the museum in Illuin.

Talked to her about the stuff she's having some trouble with talking to Charlie about. Told her I'd help her talk to him about it, if she wants.

I also let slip it was twins. I guess the doctors hadn't told her, yet.

Oops.

She seemed happy.

Journal 10/20/12

Silver told me he got a message. It's over. The people who got my platoon killed are gone.

Personal Correspondence: Incoming 20.10.112

TO: Silver Night, Utopian Ideal
FROM: Yaski Taruma; Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri; Korama 3-10 Ishukone Corporation Factory
AT: 09:37 20.10.112
STATUS: Read

Mr Night,

The official proceedings have been 'temporarily halted' as the targets of the legal action 'cannot be located'.

This is likely the conclusion of the matter.

The Firm appreciates your business, and if there is anything else we can do for you, please let us know.

Yaski Taruma
Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri

Journal 10/16/12b

Had a talk with Charlie. Also, he made an omelette for Cia, but she fell asleep, so I got to eat it.

Seems like there are things he wants - I'd be worried if there weren't - but mostly he wants Cia to be happy, and he'll go with what she says. At least, that's what he says. Won't hurt to keep an eye on things, of course. It's good to know that family is important to him.

It sounds like Cia might be having some trouble with things that have happened, too. Things she won't talk about with Charlie. I'm going to try and talk to her about that. I think Charlie is a good guy, and it'd be good to have him in the kids' lives, but it's up to Cia in the end, and I'll support whatever she decides.

Journal 10/16/12

Cia and Camille's birthday party was today. Quite a few podders showed up, from inside and outside Re-Aw. Apparently there was some tension, since Esna is in the Mary Militia now, but I didn't see what happened. I can see how it'd be awkward, I guess.

Speaking of awkward.

Charlie showed up, just as Camille yelled something about Cia sexing a policeman and getting pregnant.

So, that's how he found out.

Cami ran into the house, and CJ went in after her, so I stayed to help Cia with, well, whatever. Cami came back out a bit later and apologized. Whatever CJ said to her must have done the trick.

Anyway, Charlie is going to be here a bit longer, so I'm sure and Cia will work on working things out. Even if he found out in a less than ideal way, the point is that he knows now.

Journal 10/15/12

I talked with Cia about jumping back to my own body. I worried that - I don't know - I worried that she might prefer me this way. More like most people. More like regular people. Safer.

It'll be nice to have you back to normal.

It was good to hear her say that. I sort of knew I was worrying about nothing, but still.

She says she's going to move soon, to Gulf. It'll be nice, everyone being so close.

Journal 10/7/12

Camille ran away. To join the militia, apparently.

She ended up with Eliza - Dame Death, I guess she's called.

She's safe, though. Cia got a message, in the middle of the night, and wanted to fly off right then. We managed to get her to wait, to do it carefully and properly.

She almost fainted, and we get medical in and they checked up on her.

There's good news, at least, from everything. Two heartbeats. Twins. I guess it's hereditary in Cia's family.

Still, Camille is going to get a serious talking to when she gets back here.

Journal 10/4/12

So, Cia announced it today - that she's pregnant. I guess it's been long enough now that she can talk about it without tempting Fortune.

Camille wasn't exactly thrilled, but I'm sure she'll come around. I guess she just isn't looking forward to having to share Cia with someone else. Silver talked to her and seemed optimistic. Well, optimistic for Silver anyway.

He's been reading up, I guess, which is just what you'd expect. No problem that can't be fixed by reading the right book or manual or paper.

I'm still so happy for Cia. With everything that's happened, she deserves soemthing she wants as much as she wants this.

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 29.9.12

TO: Col Saernal Teirild, CTO, Utopian Ideal

FROM: Silver Night, Utopian Ideal

AT: 09:33 29.9.112

STATUS: Sent

Col. Teirild,

Dr Iorthan is no longer in Captain Roth's employ. Please table any plans for supplementary training for the time being.

However, as he was privy to certain private information, please monitor the situation and act to ensure the containment of such information as needed.

Captain Silver Night

Ferault & Dulain Booksellers - Recent Order (23.9.12)

The following is confirmation of your order as of 23.9.12.

• Primagravida, Gestation, and Parturition - Dr. Tominen, et al.; Zainou-Wiyrkomi College of Medicine Press
• If She's Happy, Why Won't She Stop crying?: A Guide to Your Partner's Pregnancy - Dr. Jani Aylls
• Best Baby Products, YC 112 - Luminaire Consumer Council Report
• Baby's First Year - Aunas Silera and Dr. Uphan Eadirjun
• Dr. Alken's Infant Care - Dr. Alken and Ikurdur Larmante
• Causes and Management of Hyperemesis in the Human Gravida Female: A Dissertation - Saut Amlane
• From Rivalry to Rapport: How to Help Your Older Child Adjust to a New Sibling - Peciete Natone
• Sibling Relationships: A Longitudinal Study of Psychological and Emotional Outcomes in Mulitparity Households, YC 62 - 94, Caille by Professor Gaulierre, Dr Shinnoen, et al.

As always, Ferault & Dulain appreciates your business, Mr. Night.

Journal 9/21/12

I talked to Mathilde, and she explained why Cia hasn't said anything. Sort of explained. Since everything has to be approached sideways-like.

Would you boast of winning a race before it even started?

I guess that makes a sort of sense. Tempting Fortune, she said. I should have realized. Mathilde says it would be a good thing, to let Cia know that I know. Sideways-like, of course. Then she gave me some pie.

So I went and talked to Cia. Made sure that she knew I knew.

She asked about traditional things for me. Caldari things. I'll have to ask Silver, he knows about traditions and stuff. Sideways-like, I'll ask.

SYSTEMS FILE: Memo: M.O. Muenel Amailly

TO: Captain Night
FROM: M.O. Amailly
CC: C.M.O. Nari

As per your request for a professional opinion of Dr Crivan Iorthan's treatment of Captain Ciarente Roth, I have reviewed the relevant records and interviewed personnel as necessary.

While Captain Roth's health is not and has not been endangered, Dr Iorthan's preference for a single, highly invasive treatment option has not increased Captain Roth's comfort in recent weeks. A broad-based, aggressive but non-invasive management plan would almost certainly have yielded better outcomes.

Captain Roth is currently my patient and I would not welcome a transfer of her care back to Dr Iorthan.

A more technical medical report has been sent under separate cover to C.M.O. Nari.

Journal 9/20/12

I haven't told Cia about Cami almost choking on that ice cube. I don't want to worry her, and it isn't really the kind of thing that you can do anything about. I've already told Cami to be more careful.

When I realized she couldn't breathe...

Well, it felt like I couldn't either.

I'm just glad I was there, and that I remembered what to do. Basic Medical seems like lifetimes ago.

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 19.9.12

TO: Col Saernal Teirild, CTO, Utopian Ideal

FROM: Silver Night, Utopian Ideal

AT: 19:42 19.9.112

STATUS: Sent

Col. Teirild,

It has come to my attention that an officer on Captain Roth's staff, CMO Dr Crivan Iorthan, may benefit from some supplementary instruction in proper conduct and procedures. It is a matter of some concern, for me.

I would appreciate it if you took some time to construct a few potential courses of education for Dr Iorthan. At this point I think research, planning, and gathering some limited resources as required would be appropriate. As always, I will leave the details to your discretion.

Captain Silver Night

Journal 9/19/12

Hiri stopped by.

We talked about the list, and feelings, and all of that. Also, I need to remember to have medical in Ebodold check on the clone - make sure that when I jump back I won't have problems from the biochemical stuff.

We talked about how sometimes it's hard to remember to see the feelings you actually have, instead of the ones you feel like you should have.

I think Hiri might still be having a harder time than she is letting on about. Maybe the trip with Saer down to visit her clan's lands will help. I feel a little bad, sticking her with Saer. Having a reason to take some time will be good for Hiri, though. And Saer did have a very difficult childhood and all that stuff, so what Hiri thinks she knows isn't far off. Not too far, anyway.

Anyway, Saer needs to learn about her people. If it might help Hiri in the process, that's a bonus.

I asked Hiri about Dr Iorthan, too. After what Saer told me about how he tried to give Hiri the vitoc to 'calm her down' when she came back from the museum and needed her treatment, and what I saw of his meeting with Cia the other day I'm starting to wonder if someone needs to have a serious conversation with him.

Journal 9/18/12

Mathilde arrived. It'll be good for Cia to have someone else helping out, considering.

I guess Cia had stopped by Debreth, expecting me to be there, when she was looking for me. I'm not sure how much Cia told Mathilde.

She made me an omelette. And bacon.

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 14.9.12

TO: Dr Valhiri Akell, MO, Fortune's Fist

FROM: Col Saernal Teirild, CTO, Utopian Ideal

AT: 17:19 14.9.112

STATUS: Sent

Hiri,

I would prefer to visit the dances, if it's possible. I should be able to arrange the leave. I am grateful that you would take the time and trouble.

Sincerely,

Col Saernal Teirild
CTO
Utopian Ideal

Journal 9/12/12c

Happy, maybe. I think so. Yeah.

I mean, I fucked up bad. I might fuck up again, or have another episode.

I have people who give a shit, though. That's a hell of a lot more than some other people have.

I feel a little like I don't deserve it. When I was a Gurista, there was another marine, she used to say Hells, if we got what we deserved and deserved what we got, we wouldn't be here, would we?

Meaning the Guristas, of course. Point is, there isn't much point in chasing deserves. You deal with the hand you're dealt, good or bad.

So, happy, cause I'm kinda feeling like the dealer likes me, just now.

Journal 9/12/12b

Ok. Feelings. Right.

Well, like I told Hiri:

Relieved. Relieved that it's going to be over. That the company thinks the people who're responsible for what happened are guilty. That doing things Hiri's way worked out.

I guess relieved that it means that it's not just... Not just an excuse. Not 'It wasn't me, it was them!' to dodge responsibility myself.

It really was them. there really wasn't anything I could do. I mean, that's not- Not because they're guilty, but that part makes the rest of it feel more true.

Hopeful. I told Hiri I was hopeful too. I guess I am. It might help. I've felt stuck. Even with the things she has me do - the exercises and thinking of things the right way and everything, I've felt stuck. Like I couldn't move on from what happened. It makes it so I can't rely on myself. Like when I use, that way, I guess. I should have put that on the list. Something happens and I'm back there. Or I have a nightmare. It puts me out of my own control.

So, hopeful. I hope I can start to get it behind me. Even though, like Hiri says, there aren't any quick fixes.

What else, though? I feel...

I don't know.

I feel...

Journal 9/12/12

Saer stopped by. She'd been to the Illuin Museum with Hiri. Learning about her culture. Minmatar culture, I mean.

I guess it went well, until Hiri had a problem. A Vitoxin problem.

Saer was, well, Saer. You know how she is. She was talking about the museum visit, then just went right into that.

I guess Hiri's watch wasn't working or something, so she didn't realize it was time for her dose. Saer helped her get back here, and made sure noone gave her Vitoc on the way. She, Saer I mean, seemed to have formed a sort of negative opinion about Dr Iorthan after he wanted to give Hiri the vitoc to 'calm her down'. Him being Mary, I'm surprised that kind of comment doesn't get him kneecapped in some quiet corner of the hangar.

Can't say I disagree with her, and it kinda backs up what I was feeling after seeing how he was acting with Cia. Still, Cia seems happier with Dr Nari, and that's just fine with me. I know he's good.

Journal 9/11/12

Hiri wants me to sit with my feelings and pay attention to them.

Whatever the fuck that means. She thinks it'll help, so whatever. I'll try it.

Right now, I feel.... hungry.

Note: List for Hiri

Reasons to use:

• It helps with the nightmares for a while
• Seems like I feel like I should feel. How you're supposed to feel.

Reasons not to use:

• It's worse when it stops working
• Withdrawl
• Have to keep taking more
• Makes me incompetent and unfit for duty
• Makes me unreliable
• I hurt people who matter
• It makes me not me, or a me I don't like
• I let Cia and Cami down
• I do things I wouldn't do sober

Journal 9/10/12

I did a search for Cia's symptoms. The same thing keeps coming up.

I guess she'll talk to me about it when she's ready. Talk to me about it more, and not just this 'what do you think of kids' stuff.

Journal 9/8/12b

Talked with Hiri. She wants me to think about my feelings. Sounds like standard Shrink stuff, but she's the expert.

She wants me to work on the list we talked about, too.

Cia was arguing with Dr Iorthan when I finished and went to get her from medical. She still won't tell me what it is, but she insists it isn't serious. Dr Iorthan seems to think she should be doing something and she doesn't want to do it. On the other hand, I think he'd be even more agitated if it was something actually life threatening, and Dr Nari didn't seem that concerned.

I'm going to give him a com and confirm that it isn't something I should be overly worried about, though.

Journal 9/8/12

Silver says that the people responsible for what happened probably won't make it to trial. Embarrassing to the corporation.

That means there's enough, though. Enough there that the people who make those sorts of decisions, at the corporation, think they are guilty. Trial or not.

I think Hiri was right. It's better - justice instead of revenge.

I thought it was just... Well, Hiri seems to be against direct measures of nearly any sort. Even that business with that ex of hers. Like she's some kind of pacifist or something. Except, I don't think it's that, exactly. Maybe more that she believes that the institutions that are supposed to run things will get it right.

I don't have that kind of faith, not for a long time now.

But when they do work, like it looks like they are going to work this time, it is better. At least, it seems better. It's like....

It isn't just me. They know too. They know what those officers did, and their judgement is the same as what mine would have been. The corporation. And the corporation is bigger, outside it. They aren't doing it for me. They're doing it because it's what should be done.

Journal 9/6/12

It's good. Things are good.

It's pleasant, peaceful. I feel like I'm going a little stir crazy though.

Still waiting for whatever it is that the doctors said wasn't serious that is wrong with Cia to go away, too. At least she's still eating - more than usual, even. Which is good. She could stand to put on a little weight.

Me, I'm eating less. This body, I guess.

Least of the ways it makes me feel not like myself. I guess that for a little while not being myself is probably for the best, but I look forward to getting back to normal.

Journal 9/4/12

Had a talk with Helmi.

Journal 9/3/12

Silver's here. Helping Cia. I'm glad she got help, this time; she seems tired.

Journal 9/2/12

It's good, being back in Lustrevik. It feels very home-like, I guess. It was good to see Cami too. Even with her questions.

Talked to Hiri, too. About starting to get things handled properly. About getting help, too, and just. Family stuff, I guess.

Cia saw Sanik, about the issues she's been having from the neocom. I guess it's nothing serious.

Journal 9/1/12

I jumpcloned. It feels weird, the new body. Weak.

Cia was waiting, and we had tea. Something with ginger in it, Vuorrassi I think, cause my stomach was a little upset. From the jump. Some of those KK types could use a lesson in manners. He probably would have been even more rude if he'd known I was Ishukone.

I feel like myself, I feel better, even though this body makes me feel naked, slow, and a little out of focus. It's just temporary, in any case.

I'm not even eating as much.

Personal Correspondence: Incoming 31.8.112

TO: Silver Night, Utopian Ideal

FROM: Yaski Taruma; Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri; Korama 3-10 Ishukone Corporation Factory

AT: 09:14 31.8.112

STATUS: Read

Mr Night,

We have sufficient evidence and support in the proper places to move forward.

As we move to official action on the part of the Corporation, there are concerns that by the time of any proceedings, the principal personnel involved may no longer be available. Unavoidably and involuntarily unavailable.

This sort of complaint actually being brought, with sufficient evidence that it can't be dismissed out of hand would likely trigger such unavailability.

That means that the window for other parties to take direct, alternate action may be closing.

We await your final authorization to proceed.

Yaski Taruma

Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 27.8.112

TO: Ciarente Roth Fortune's Firefly

FROM: Silver Night Utopian Ideal

AT: 6:19 27.8.112

STATUS: Sent

Cia,

Of course. I'm on my way.

Silver

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 21.8.112

TO: Ciarente Roth Fortune's Firefly

FROM: Silver Night Utopian Ideal

AT: 22:17 21.8.112

STATUS: Sent

Cia,

It is good to hear that you've found Amieta and she's with you. If there is anything at all I can do, please let me know. Now that she is with you, any scrutiny attached to my involvement (if needed) should be much less relevant.

Silver

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 16.8.112

TO: Ciarente Roth Fortune's Firefly

FROM: Silver Night Utopian Ideal

AT: 17:32 16.8.112

STATUS: Sent

Cia,

Dr Sanik and her team are on the way. It's a minor, routine procedure. It will be over before you know it, and everything will be fine.

Silver

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 15.8.112

TO: Ciarente Roth Fortune's Firefly

FROM: Silver Night Utopian Ideal

AT: 21:24 15.8.112

STATUS: Sent

Cia,

Cami's birthday celebrations went well. She was thrilled with the Griffin, and has been enthusiastically tinkering, with her usual resourcefulness. Under supervision, of course. The galley did its best, but though she approved of the cake, she didn't seem to think it quite met the standard that you set. I tend to agree.

She eagerly anticipates your return. As do others, of course.

Silver

Personal Correspondence: Incoming 1.8.112

TO: Silver Night, Utopian Ideal

FROM: Yaski Taruma; Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri; Korama 3-10 Ishukone Corporation Factory

AT: 09:12 1.8.112

STATUS: Read

Mr Night,

It has come to our attention that an unidentified party is investigating Commander Invelen's past activities and former associates. While we are still working to gather information, it would seem likely that the unidentified party is working on behalf of one or more of the subjects of our own inquiries. We are working to limit the Commander's exposure on this end, of course. Their investigations may extend beyond the scope of what we are able to contain, however. In particular with any current activities, and any incidents outside the borders of the State, our effectiveness will be limited.

While we are confident that the Commander has nothing to hide, and has done nothing that would compromise the integrity of the case, you will find a attached a list of recommended specialist 'information management' firms.

Yaski Taruma

Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri

Personal Correspondence: Incoming 30.7.112

TO: Silver Night, Utopian Ideal

FROM: Yaski Taruma; Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri; Korama 3-10 Ishukone Corporation Factory

AT: 11:32 29.7.112

STATUS: Read

Mr Night,

Progress continues. Official preparation has begun. Evidence is being complied, with certain organizations acting on our behalf to assist authorities and keep the activities suitably modest.

On the subject of evidence: A third party contractor has passed on a request for certain information (see attached) to assist their research. Anything that you might be able to share would be of assistance. The contractor in question is a known quantity, and the firm vouches for them. The scope of the information would be tailored to satisfy their specific requirements before being passed on. Should you be in any way dissatisfied, the firm would of course assume responsibility for rectifying the situation.

I will notify you personally of any further developments.

Yaski Taruma

Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri

(See Attachment?)

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 29.7.112

TO: Ciarente Roth; Fortune's Firefly

FROM: Silver Night; Utopian Ideal

AT: 16:22 29.7.112

STATUS: Sent

Cia,

Luc has been attending his classes with greater regularity. Camille is really no trouble at all, and possesses her usual enthusiasm in all things. I hope that you are enjoying your trip.

Have you heard from Ami? Despite her abrupt departure, I am optimistic that the time away will be good for her.

Your siblings, as always, send their best wishes.

Silver

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 21.7.112

FROM: Amieta Invelen

TO: Ciarente Roth

AT: 20:09 21.7.112
STATUS: SENT

Cia,

I'm sorry I was so short with you before. I just, I think I need a break. I need to clear my head. I'm going to go visit some places in the State. I should be back the 8th of next month. Please let Cami know I'm not mad, not at you or her, and give my love to her and Silver.

Ami

Journal 7/20/12

My head's fucking killing me. I don't even know how I got here. I'm such a fucking mess. I need to go. I can't be around them, not right now. I shouldn't have said - shouldn't have said what I said to Cia.

Even if she doesn't get it. I started for her, so she wouldn't have to take care of me.

I just can't deal with all this right now. I can't do everything they expect me to, and be everyone they expect me to, and they'll pry and - I need to go.

Journal 7/18/12

Cia shouldn't have- she's always so spirits-damned nosy. Sometimes it's just none of her fucking business. She's soft, she doesn't understand what it's like. Silver's almost as bad. Fucking sick of it. Fuck it.

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 15.7.112

FROM: Silver Night; Utopian Ideal
TO: Yaski Taruma; Taruma, Okio, and Vataseri; Korama 3-10 Ishukone Corporation Factory
AT: 08:45 15.7.112

SUBJECT: RE: Update

Mr. Taruma,

The update is appreciated. Allow me to reiterate that expenses incurred are an entirely secondary concern. The case should be pursued by the proper corporate authorities. As long as the unfortunate delay in following it up is brought to their attention and rectified, and measures are taken to ensure that any pertinent evidence is available to them, that will be more than satisfactory. Your firm's discretion and efficacy are valued.

Sincerely,

Silver Night

Journal 7/17/12

Really cut back, doin' good. Started getting headaches though, and getting a little shaky toward the end of yesterday. Think I'll take just a bit more, to help. Just a bit more.

Journal 7/14/12

Cami's martial arts meet was earlier. I missed it. I was a little too messed up, lost track of-

Lost track of things, for a while.

Cia called. I told her an operation came up, last minute. Told her to let Cami know I was sorry.

Maybe I should cut back some, for a bit. Make sure I've got things under control.

Journal 7/7/12

Three days? Has it been three days since my last entry?

I guess I lost track of time there a little.

Journal 7/4/12

Had to fire my assistant. I know I'm not the one that fucked those reports up.

Better, anyway. Not having him out there watching all the time. Keeping track of when I leave. Asking questions. Looking at me.

Journal 7/3/12

Cia showed up for dinner last night - Silver commed me. I wasn't prepared, still a little blasted, but I think I mostly did ok. Cia noticed though, said I should see about toning down my prescription.

During dinner, Hiri came up, Cia suggested I see her. Don't think that's a good idea. Anyway, it's not like I need her anymore. I'm doing fine. Doing just fine.

Journal 6/28/12

It's like noone wants to get anything done. Always asking and verifying and covering ass.

Is everyone fucking incompetent?

I'm going throw the next person to ask me a question out an airlock.

Journal 6/26/12

I think I went out, to a bar? It's a bit blurry, and I'm a bit afraid to look at what my optics might have stored. Alpassi might have been there? Was there singing?

Journal 6/25/12

Everything's fine.

Journal 6/24/12

Surprised Cia with Luc, today.

I think maybe I got a little carried away. It might have been better to talk to her first. Let her know he'd been relocated. Leave it up to her when she wanted to see him.

Anyway, he'll be on the Ideal for now. Hopefully our people can get him to stop slouching so much. And mumbling.

Journal 6/22/12

Feel good, feel back.

Had to up the 'sayer a little, but that's the way it goes. Need to see if I can get some of the stuff Silver's collected over the years transferred here. A pallet would set me up as long as I needed, right?

Saer's been giving me funny looks, but maybe that's just her, or her new situation.

I've started spending more time around the ship, out of my office. Not to avoid her, just cause that's what an XO should do. Keep in touch with what's going on. Run surprise inspections, stuff like that. XO stuff.

Journal 6/20/12

The trip was good, even if I was a little worn out toward the end.

Settling back in. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.

I'm worried if I see Saer she'll know.

Journal 6/18/12

Felt like hell this morning. Got some extra sleep though, felt better after that. Just needed the extra rest.

I guess I've been overdoing it a little. Maybe I'll dial back on the stims, a little. At least for a while.

Journal 6/17/12

Went to a cold zone, sledding and stuff. After all the excitement in the snow, I'm starting to feel a little stretched thin. A good night's sleep. That's all I probably need. I'll feel fine after that.

Journal 6/16/12

Went to a zone that was more like the weather from Debreth in the spring - temperate, they call it. It was nice, all trees and fields and everything, and sort of calm. It must have been nice for Cia and Cami - I wonder sometimes how it must be, for them, coming from a place like that - Debreth, I mean - up to stations where it's all corridors and compartments, and hardly a window in sight.

We ate near some trees, and a little river.

Cia found a frog in her pocket, which was very funny. It was a lovely day, really.

Journal 6/15/12b

Parasailing was awesome. I even tricked Cia into going, she thought that Silver wouldn't go, but I made her a deal she would if he did, then I went and convinced him, which wasn't that hard. He used to be a test pilot, so it wasn't like it's anything new. He probably used to do dangerous stuff all the time, and this isn't even dangerous it can just seem that way.

The parasailing, though. It was awesome. Could see practically everything in the dome from up there. Cami went with Silver, think she had a really good time. Cia I think maybe had her eyes closed the entire time, which sort of defeats the point, but what are you gonna do? I guess heights aren't entirely her thing.

We went to check out the little gliders after that, which was cool too. Almost time for dinner, I think someone said the restaurant is in a tree which hardly makes sense, I mean, how would that work? Trees don't, like, have thing in them. Well, little animals, I guess. Maybe it's more like a tree theme? I guess I'll see.

Journal 6/15/12a

Went to do paintball with Camille. We were on the same team, and we won in the end. Of course a couple rich kids didn't stand a chance against us, even if they got a couple good shots in.

Cami was maybe a little over-eager, but she did good for her first time. We'll have to get her gloves that fit, she's gonna have a nasty bruise on her hand. Cia didn't seem too upset.

We're gonna go do gliders, need to keep my energy up. More later.

Journal 6/14/12

Vacation's been great so far. Went to the beach, all of us, even Silver, and Cami went in the water again but this time I got her out, then we went and swam around in the lagoon and there were crabs and then even Cia came over to swim with us, but Silver just read though.

Dinner was good.

Journal 6/13/12

Went to a corp kite-flying thing. Kites are big, I guess, in the Republic.

It was fun. I didn't fly any myself, but Cami had a good time. It was good to get out, to feel good enough to be out and about. I slept a lot.

Cami got in a little trouble in the surf, it was fine though. Cia's such a strong swimmer. She took care of it.

Personal Correspondence: Outgoing 12.6.112

To: Ciarente Roth, Fortune's Firefly

From: Silver Night, Utopian Ideal

At: 19:51 12.6.112

Status: Sent

Cia,

I will make sure Dr Sanik and her people are at your disposal, and I would of course be more than happy to help as I can.

On the subject of the trip, I think I should be able to take the time and I look forward to it.

Silver

Journal 6/11/12

I saw Nerila in the hangar, started talking with her, we were discussing something - plans? I think. She thought it was false labor, at first, but then just a second later there was blood everywhere and she she was on the ground.

Something went wrong, with the baby. No word yet on if either of them are gonna make it through - all the way through.

I guess these days that stuff still happens, sometimes. When safer methods aren't used.

Cia seems to be managing ok, considering. I've tried to keep steady for her.

Journal 6/10/12

Charlie had to leave today, he could only get the couple days off.

Cia seemed very pleased with the visit, though.

I should surprise her more often.

Journal 6/9/12

Charlie Etay got here this morning. Cia was so surprised. Happy, though. It was great.

We all went to the Rens Bazaar and got some apple trees, then went to have some coffee. I went with Cami to get some goats, give Cia and Charlie a bit of alone time.

There were some slaver hounds there, but it was fine. Cami didn't get too close, or anything, I mean. She is so damn curious.

Discussed this vacation more, too, once Cami and I got back to the cafe. Think one of the goats might have been trying to eat Charlie's pant-leg.

Success all around.

Journal 6/6/12b

Talked to Silver today.

He came over, brought Cami back. It was good, seeing them both. Very good.

He didn't... I was afraid he'd... Well, I still have a job, in any case. I didn't have to worry. It didn't change things, what happened.

He says that he'll help, he says that Ishukone will take it seriously, and that his connections are good enough. Spirits know he's shed enough blood for them.

So, they'll believe me. They have to.

Justice.

One way or another, he said.

Journal 6/6/12

Silver's going to come over, soon. I told Cia I was ready. I hope I am. I hope he... I hope I still have a job.

Saer's going to be out this way soon too. I just shouldn't be around when she is. She can be so difficult sometimes.

Journal 6/5/12

Planning a surprise for Cia.

Journal 6/4/12

Things are great.

Journal 6/2/12

It worked. I swapped out the stims Cia's been taking for headache pills. They were in the top drawer of her dresser, for ancestor's sake. Cia isn't cut out for this shit. At least she hasn't been taking them long enough for it to be serious. I don't think she has.

So Cia got a good night's sleep, and I told her she doesn't need to worry as much. I told her how much better I'm doing. It's good to have things under control. Things are how they were before; how they should be. Even talking to Silver won't be too bad.

Journal 6/1/12

Cia - the stims are getting to her. She isn't equipped to keep something like that under control. She'll keep taking 'em and it'll be to the point where it's hard to break out soon. I'm gonna see if I can't do something to help convince her that I'm going to be ok. Something so she knows she doesn't need to keep staying up.

Journal 5/31/12

I think I'm adjusting to the 'sayer already. I need to take it every night, for now, but I'm sure I'll be able to cut back. Later.

Journal 5/30/12

Slept well. Forgot how it was, was a little groggy, but I feel better. Need to convince Cia things will be ok. That I'm better. I feel the way I should feel.

Journal 5/29/12

Cia's already started using stronger stims. She's talked to the doctor about having a combat clone set up, too. Cia, in a combat clone. She wants to be able to help me, and she does. It's just... none of it is enough, not fast enough and it's getting to be too much real fast. She wants to help, and it's getting dangerous. She doesn't understand.

It's rough on her. She just started crying. She tried to act like she was okay, afterward, but I know she isn't.

I have to do something, there's really no choice. 'sayer isn't bad, as these things go. Just when I need it. I can control it. I did before. No nightmares, and I'll stop needing so much from Cia. I have to.

Journal 5/28/12

It happened again. It almost happened again. I had a nightmare, and Cia woke me up. She was too close, and there was a split second when I woke up when...

She looked so... She was upset. Not scared, not for herself, but upset for me. I don't think, even with what happened before, she really knows what could happen. Or doesn't think it will.

I'd like to think it won't. I know, I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt her, but...

I came to my senses and it didn't- Nothing happened. But it could have been bad. Maybe I'll talk to her, see about... Make sure she knows. It's taking its toll, though. Trying to help me.

Taking stims, for too long, it makes your judgement bad. Her judgement can't be bad, for this. She needs to think about herself when it comes to it. And take them too long, they stop working, and you need something stronger. Nightmares pass.

Maybe if she saw me doing better.

That would make it worth it, and make her feel like she doesn't need to do this, anymore. I wouldn't need her to, either. I have to do better.

Journal 5/24/12

I've started carrying one of them around, one of the vials. Having it with me helps me feel more grounded. Safer from ending up somewhere else. I don't even want to use it, and just having it is enough.

I don't need it.

Journal 5/23/12

After Cia crashed today, I went to look, to see what she's been taking. It wasn't hard to find - right there, top dresser drawer.

It isn't the bad stuff. It's the kinda thing doctors'll give to near anyone. It's the first step, though. Some point, it stops working, and people go for something harder. I'm not sure it's something Cia could keep a handle on. Not with worrying about me, too.

She doesn't know how you control something like that. How you keep it from taking over. That's how it should be. She shouldn't need to know.

Journal 5/22/12

Cia's been crashing real quick in the mornings, and she's looking a little frayed around the edges. She's not eating enough, either. Not that that's unusual, but it's worse than normal.

I'm pretty sure she's been taking something to stay awake.

I know she wants to help me, I know that's how it's supposed to work. How can it be helping me for her to end up worse off, though?

Journal 5/20/12

Cia sent Cami off to stay with Silver, for a while. Things being how they are. Better to be safer, I should have said something before now. It was easy, assuming Cia had considered it, but even with everything she saw, I guess she still doesn't think that way.

It'll be good for Cami. Probably good for Silver too.

Journal 5/19/12b

I talked to Hiri, and there isn't anything. No way to make it go faster. No quick fix. Not unless I wanted to use a TCMC, and I think I'd just off myself, first.

She asked if I'd started with legal avenues. I haven't, yet. I'd have to talk with Silver about it - he's the one that still has the connections at Ishukone - and I haven't yet.

Talked about a few other things that might be done.

We talked about other stuff too. She said that Cia maybe hadn't considered, with me how I am, and Camille around...

I figured Cia had talked to Cami, maybe, in private. I think she worries about upsetting me. I'll talk to her, though. After what happened, better to not take chances.

Journal 5/19/12

I was outside in the hangar, and they were just there and I grabbed them. I didn't even really think about it.

I should get rid of them, but they might be good to have. Just to have. Just- Just to know they are there, in case things get really bad. Not to use.

Journal 5/18/12b

I was having a nightmare. Cia stumbled, and accidentally grabbed me. I was still sleeping, I didn't know it was her, and I hit her, and almost strangled her.

I woke up in time. Just in time. Seeing that, seeing my hand around her throat - it can never happen again. I need to always make sure Cia isn't close enough. Need to make sure that I don't need her in the same room, anymore.

Maybe I can convince her to try the recordings, again. Maybe I can talk to Hiri more. I'm sure the stuff she has me do, I'm sure it will help. Maybe there is a way it can go faster though.

Journal 5/18/12

I nearly killed Cia. Spirits, it was close. There has to be another way.

Journal 5/17/12

Cia ran out, earlier. Didn't even say where she was going. Turns out that they showed up here, in Lustrevik. The Sanshas.

She was sick, threw up, when she came back. Reaction to the adrenaline, maybe. She said CONCORD was in on it too. Sounds like it's getting ugly out there.

Made her some coffee, and we sat and talked some. I think she's ok, now.

Journal 5/16/12b

Cia and Silver talked. I guess he knows - at least that there is something to know. Sneaky bastard. Smarter than he looks.

Still, I can't - I won't talk to him until I know things are better. Soon. I'm sure it'll be soon.

Journal 5/16/12

Cia's gone to have dinner with Silver. All these attacks, these Sansha incursions. I should be out there, with my crew, helping.

I can't though. I'd be worse than useless, the way I am right now.

Journal 5/14/12

Something went wrong with the recording. Or maybe it just stopped working, I don't know. It happened again. Cia's back to staying up to make sure I'm ok, and I don't know that there is a better way, and I don't know that I can lie and tell her there is a better way.

Journal 5/12/12

I think it's working, the recordings. No nightmares, and Cia is looking better, more rested. I feel like I might be able to get back to normal. Maybe the things Hiri suggested will work, will make it go away, or at least control it.

First time since I called Cia from that hangar, I feel like I might have a handle on this thing.

Journal 5/10/12

I told Cia that I wanted to try something else, so she didn't have to spend so much time seeing that I was alright.

I'll just play back recordings from my neocom - it'll be like she's there. It'll help, like she's been helping, keeping the nightmares away.

I told her it would work. I'm sure it will work.

I told her about the other thing, too. That if she needed to wake me up, it would be better if she doesn't get too close. I might flail and clip her. Or something.

It'll work.

Journal 5/9/12

Hiri came by. It was good to see her more herself. Like the life was back in her. She said she was in no shape yet to be anyone's doctor again. So, she said we could talk as friends.

She didn't talk much about what happened to her. I told her, if she needs to, I'll be here. We talked about what happened with me, though.

She knows about what happened. She said...

There's a reason why doctors who treat combat vets have panic buttons under their desks, Ami. A reason why their patients don't handle weapons.

She was worried I might, I don't know. Forget where I was, hurt someone. I explained it isn't like that. I mean, those Blooders, sure, but not other times. I'd never... Never hurt someone I shouldn't. I know who the people who are important to me are, even when things get bad.

Then she asked me to tell her about what happened, and I did. What happened, and how it didn't help the way it used to. How Cia came afterward and got me, and she's been helping.

We talked about why killing them didn't help, like it used to. I don't feel better, but I think we might have something. Like at least I know I might feel better sometime.

I might talk to Cia, about being careful. If I'm sleeping and flail around or something, I don't want her too close. Don't want to accidentally clip her.

Journal 5/8/12

Things might be better. I thought they were better before, though.

Cia looks tired. I want to tell her it's ok, that I don't need her help anymore. I don't want to be wrong, though. We'll just have to figure something out.

Journal 5/5/12

Cia's been doing so much. It - I guess it's the way, for people like her, people where she comes from, with family. Or maybe the way it's supposed to be. Taking care of family.

It seems crowded, and less private, even though there are only the three of us. Not in a bad way, though.

I helped with dinner.

Sleeping is ok.

Journal 5/3/12

Been helping with Cia's garden. Trying to put in more real plants.

Good to see Cia, here.

Memo ALL CREW: ACTING XO

TO: ALL CREW

FROM: Captain Silver Night
SUBJECT: ACTING XO
AT: 08:00 1.5.112

As of 08:00 today, Col. Aerer will be acting XO while Commander Invelen is on leave. Maj. Tukaya will be acting head of S&L during Col Aerer's temporary assignment.

Silver Night
Captain
Utopian Ideal

Employee Record: Saernal Teirild

Name: Teirild, Saernal
Rank: Colonel
Position: Commander, Security, Utopian Ideal
Assigned Section: Command, Office located in compartment number 2554D
EID: OSF848513
DOB: 6.12.65
Corporation of Birth: N/A
Place of Birth: Unknown
Gender: Female
Ethnic Background: Sebiestor
Age: 46
Height: 154cm
Mass: 45kg
Eyes: Grey
Hair: Brown
Bloodtype: A+
Augmentations: Redacted
Education:

• 85: Elkuld Military Academy
  

Background:

• See Additional Notes
  

Additional Notes:
Much of Col Teirild's previous experience cannot be detailed for various reasons. A private review by Utopian Ideal senior staff found her experience and expertise more than sufficient. Though details aren't recorded, Col Teirild has a valuable multi-Empire background that will be invaluable in handling security issues in the multi-cultural environment of the Utopian Ideal and other ships that fall into her purview.

Journal 5/1/12

Went to visit Hiri today, see how she was doing. They haven't had enough time to adjust her medication or whatever it is they do, yet, I guess. She's still drugged up. Ashar brought her a present - a sort of mechanical incense burner. I'm sure Hiri will genuinely appreciate it when she is able.

When I was on my way out, I stopped to talk to Alpassi. Hiri must have come out after I left, there were a bunch of deck hands bothering her. Asking her to go with them, to their party, and of course all drugged up she would agree. Sick fucks. The guy doing most of the asking said something about it being 'just like the ones at resettlement.'

We broke it up - and Cia's new XO seems an alright sort, I'm sure he'll handle it - but it just pisses you off.

It'll be taken care of, though. They aren't my people, so they aren't mine to discipline.

Journal 4/26/12

I took Hiri back to Cia's hangar.

After we saw her off with the new CMO, Iorthan, Cia and I went into the hab unit for drinks and cake. Cia seemed worried about Hiri, of course. I am too. No matter how much you tell yourself that the Republic, or the alliance, or Eva, or whoever has things they can do to help fix it, it's...

Seeing Hiri like that is ugly. She just does what you say and it makes you feel dirty.

We didn't talk too much about that, though. Cia went to that concert with Charlie Etay. Said being around him was restful. Sounds promising, really.

It'd been too long since I'd seen Cami, too. She's got her hands on a Caldari Frigate sim, Because of Falcon she says. She heard - Cia told her about Sara. Sara being gone, I mean. Which got us onto the topic of her worrying about me, and Sella, and Demen. I don't blame her, with Mitch and Sara both gone.

All I could tell her was that Cia and Silver are safe pilots. Course, safe for pilots doesn't really mean the same as safe for everyone else.

Once Cami was gone, Cia wanted to know how I was. I told her. I'm fine, or better. Hiri gave me the tools, after all, before all this. The ways to think about things. I think it's working fine.

Journal 4/25/12

Ran the op to get Hiri back. It went well - very well. Clearly the place out, freed plenty of others while we were at it, and we got Hiri. Mostly CJ, and Ashar, and Esna, and some others I don't know.

We got Hiri out, but it doesn't feel like we won. They dosed her with Vitoxin. She was like a different person. High as the fucking stars on Vitoc. They're supposed to have ways to make it not so bad, in the Republic. I'm sure they'll be able to help her. I think once I see her, back the way she was, back to being Hiri, even if it isn't easy for her. I'll feel like we won then. At least, won one battle.

Feels like we should have been faster.

Journal 4/18/12

I was on my way to help with the Hiri thing. Cia was taking me. Us, really. Demen, Saer, a few others. We happened across a transport, working for a company linked with illegal slaving.

We went in to get prisoners, and we did. We lost a good man. He chose it, he knew the risks, and hell, it happens. Still, it hurts, to lose someone to those rank fucking amateurs. It's been a while since I ran an operation in person like that and lost someone. I'd almost forgotten. Too much time keeping ships running, I guess.

I started asking the prisoners questions on the ship, but Cia could see into the cargo-hold of course. She knew, maybe, in an abstract way, what that would involve. She doesn't need to see herself. It's not the kind of thing she should be exposed to. The kind of thing I want to expose her to.

After we docked we got what we needed. Well, a start. Narrowed it down to a constellation.

Journal 4/14/12

Report from Sergeant Jadat, on the Debreth situation. Ended up being a bit of a mess, but much less than it could have been. Everything seems to be in hand, and Santee... didn't see as much as he might have.

Journal 4/11/12

Had a birthday dinner, over at Cia's. Just me and Cia and Cami, with Silver busy. Well, that's who I thought would be there, but Cia had a surprise for me.

First thing first, though. Cami got my a beautiful box, which apparently Pierre made. Inside are seeds, without names. Mystery seeds. I'm looking forward to trying to figure out what they are as they grow. They all have instructions for taking care of them, of course.

Cia's surprise was a bit different: Charlie Etay was there. Guess he got that vacation time. I wasn't really very subtle when I was dropping hints about how good looking he was and all that - Cia thought I was interested in him. He is far to pretty, and maybe a bit delicate for my tastes.

The dinner was lovely, if a bit confused all around, with me trying to get Cia alone with him, and her trying the same thing, and both of us talking each other up to him. I'm glad that Cami takes my advice about talking to police seriously, too, but she is having trouble making an exception for Charlie.

Anyway, it still went ok, I think. I explained to Cia, afterward, too. She didn't seem unhappy with the idea of maybe a date with Charlie.

The food was great, of course.

Journal 4/5/12

Charlie Etay's partner, Elienne Desorlay, called me today. Worried about Charlie getting involved with Cia.

I told her I thought Charlie might be good for Cia. Decent, solid, honest, all that stuff.

I told her Cia'd be good for Charlie, podder or no. Extolled Cia's virtues.

I didn't mention that relationships with podders get messy more often than not. That not getting involved with them is a personal rule of mine. How easy it is for people near them to get hurt - though that part she seemed to know, a little.

In the end, she agreed not to stand in the way. Agreed to give it a chance. Figure that's all that's needed : A chance. Then it works out, or it doesn't.

Journal 4/4/12

I went by to see Nualla before we left Debreth.

I asked her about the place, the black lake. She thought it was just a story. Said that in the oldest memories, she just remembered it being a story.

She wants to go down. Says the people have been down there long enough - and I don't think I can argue with that. Don't want her going on her own, I'll send let Demen know he should help her. Make sure she's safe.

Journal 4/3/12b

That policeman, Charlie Etay, he's on-planet. Or he was, might have left already. Happened to pull a case here where the locals wanted an SCID consult. I saw him outside Cia's place.

He looked cold, and he was off-duty, so I invited him in, for a bit of tea. He seems like a nice young man. Bit too pretty, but mellow. Stable, I think. Honest - maybe excessively so.

All-in-all alright, for a cop.

Cia 'loaned' him one of Jorion's coats - what with the weather.

I might have been a bit heavy handed in dropping hints that she might see what she can do to see that he gets a bit more vacation time, if she has strings she can pull in the Fed - with him using his up on the investigation in the Republic. Give him a chance to return the coat.

He's a little too pretty for me.

Journal 4/3/12

Silver and I went down to Debreth, to go - I think it's called 'sugaring'? Anyway, it's how they make syrup. They get the sap out of trees and boil it. Who knew that's where syrup came from?

Silver involved in a snowball fight was pretty great, to start with. Even if I ended up with snow down my collar - so did he. And Cami and Cia, too. It was good to see Cia happy. Running, healthy, nothing hanging over her.

Back to the syrup though: Some of it, they boil longer, and then pour on the snow and it makes a sort of toffee! It's delicious. A bit sticky, I'll probably have to dip my hands in solvent when we get back to the ship to get the very last bits of it out of all the little nooks and crannies, but it was worth it. More than worth it.

Journal 4/2/12

Silver had a meeting with Morar. He's snooping. Some measures will need to be taken.

Need a CTO.

Journal 3/23/12

Cia and Cami came over for dinner earlier. Dinner was good - Silver's chefs are almost as good as Cia, I think - and I took Cami down to see the fighter bay. I think Silver wanted some private time with Cia.

Cami wanted to see everything of course. She was nearly squished by a munitions trolley, and she wanted to fly one of the fighters. I let her sit in one, and pester poor Maj Tragenne. She seemed to know what everything was, though, and the basics of flying them. Course, she's laser-sharp, shouldn't be surprised she's picked stuff up. Think she caught Tragenne on his back foot, a couple of times, even.

When we got back to the officer's mess, Cia seemed... something. I'm not sure. I need to ask Silver what they talked about.

Journal 3/20/12

I'll miss Sarakai. Maj. Sidreke seems to be alright with the CTO position for the time being. Sent the SCID the paperwork, so with any luck, that situation is handled.

Employee Records: Sarakai Voutelen (Deceased)

Note 3/24/12: Col Voutelen was KIA, aboard the Megathron-class Battleship Utopian Spring during action at a hostile structure 3/10/12, in Half. Due to the location, no remains could be recovered. No beneficiaries were listed for her benefits.


Name: Voutelen, Sarakai
Rank: Colonel
Position: Commander, Security, Utopian Ideal
Assigned Section: Command, Office located in compartment number 2554D
EID: OSF573862
DOB: 9.21.58
Corporation of Birth: Ishukone
Place of Birth: Illsuen, South Navata, Tsuguwa III
Gender: Female
Ethnic Background: Caldari (Deteis)(Standard, middle stage planetary colony, second generation)
Age: 52
Height: 153cm
Mass: 45.5kg
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Bloodtype: A+
Augmentations: Metabolic enhancements(minor), neural rewiring, muscular enhancements(minor), Optical Implant.
Education:

• 75: Daras III - Ishukone Watch Station - Basic Training (Completed)
  

• 77: Saranen 5-16 - Ishukone Watch Station - Special Operations and Tactics Course (Completed)
  

• 81: Korama III - Ishukone Watch Station - OCS (Graduated)
  

Background:

• 3 tours, Gallente Border Zone(75,81,86)
• 76: Positive review following action against a covert Sansha's Nation base
• 78: Commendation following operations against Guristas assets, including infiltration
• 80: Recommended for officer training.
• 81: Promoted to Lieutenant
  
• 82: Commendation for bravery during a successful operation against a 'rogue' Gallente military presence
• 85: Positive review following successful operations against ground and space assets of the Angel Cartel
  
• 86-88: Promotion to Captain. Successful operations against Serpentis ground assets in the border zone. Injured in an assault on a Serpentis processing plant
• 88-92: Assigned to the station security section, Ishukone Factory, Inghenges 5-13
• 93 - 98: Promotion to Major. Executive officer, Anti-crime task force, based out of Ishukone factory, Hakonen 7-7. Successful operations against Guristas, Seprentis, and Angel assets
  
• 99-102: Promotion to Lt Col. Garrison commander, Eranakko II Ishukone colony
  
• 102: Official Reprimand following the inquiry regarding events surrounding separatist attacks, Eranakko II colony
• 102: Recruited by the Guristas Organization
  
• 106: Hired by Captain Silver Night

Additional Notes:
Col. Voutelen was recommended by XO Invelen upon the XO's own hiring. Excellent performance at all reviews. Col. Voutelen has made it to the finals in the yearly markmanship competitions the last 4 years running, though she has never won.

Journal 3/16/12

Silver sent a team down. they found some sort of lake, but it wasn't water. Black stuff, apparently. Said it scared them. Silver seems to think it fits stuff from Debreth folklore. He's had a talk with Hiri about it.

The other stuff is going fine. Had to bring in an outside team for PD reasons, rented out an off-ship clinic.

Journal 3/14/12

They found something, down under the tunnels, in Debreth. It showed up on the scans - anomalous they said. It might be the place that's bothering Cia so much.

Journal 3/12/12

We're going to Annelle soon. Silver wants to do scans. He's been poking around in old books, too. Muttering about 'Dark water, still water' and 'Who is 'he'? Who took her from the water?' when he doesn't think anyone is listening. He's sent off for some specialist, too.

Hopefully we can find a place and that will help Cia. Somehow. Silver's been talking with Hiri, and that's what they've come to, I guess.

It's probably good, him having something to throw himself into.

Journal 3/10/12

Silver lost a Megathron earlier today. The Utopian Spring. Some of the crew made it out. Some didn't. A lot of letters to send.

Journal 3/8/12b

Almost forgot, I saw that blooder that works for that Narath guy in the Bazaar. Was chasing her down when I literally ran into Etay - who was watching Cia, and then we went and had that whole talk.

Journal 3/8/12

So, the whole thing with Etay nearly went real, real bad. He talked to Cia, and that wasn't great. She told the truth, after he started in about that woman who died. Spirits, it isn't like Cia didn't make sure her kid'll be taken care of. Etay is a little inflexible. All truth and justice.

Anyway, after that he tried to convince her to turn herself in, of all things. It being Cia, I think she might have been half convinced too. Bullshit, since she just did what she should have. Sometimes there's collateral damage, but you live with it.

Well, she could have told me, too, but that's beside the point. I don't know that any team of mine could have done things more neatly than she did on her own.

Anyway, managed to get that over with, and then on his way out, he tries to arrest Sarakai. What're the chances? Probably my fault, I must have mentioned her name to him, and maybe he just has a really good memory. Genocide, Crimes Against Humanity, Murder. Anyway, she wasn't about to go with him, and he had pretty limited leverage, so he agreed to release her to my custody until the trial. I gave him the rimpon I promised him - hell, that kind of commitment to the job deserves something - and he went on his way.

So Sara will probably be spending the foreseeable future aboard the Ideal. Don't need her getting into it with cops or bounty hunters from the Fed. With the political situation and all, she'd probably be the catch of some district prosecutor's career, just now.

Really I probably did Etay a favor. I'd hate to see the kind of prison gang Sara could put together.

It wasn't fun explaining to Cia the kind of things Sara did, before I met her. I think she understands, though. Maybe too well. I probably shouldn't have compared Sara to podders. I didn't mean Cia, and I said that, but I think maybe it brought things back.

Still, things seemed ok during dinner. I'm sure it'll all work out.

Journal 3/7/12

Had a drink with Gottii. Guess the doctors are working on his head thing. Sounds like something is happening, at least.

We talked. Some places, it seemed like we were talking slightly different languages, translators or no. There's common ground though.

Old soldiers, and now we've got implants and underlings and all that shit. People bringing back memories, too. I guess it's part of what they're doing to help him. Remembering some of the shit I ate in the field, I can't say I blame him for not relishing waking up to the taste.

Journal 3/6/12

Went to this EM get-together at the 'Gate. That pilot who shot that guard, BT, was there too. There was some kind of drama, but the auto-turrets didn't come out.

I'm trying to socialize with these Re-Aw people, like I should. Seems like there is a lot of complicated history though. I'll have to try and pick it up as I go.

Was good to catch up a little with CJ, Ulf and Gottii, though. Ruby showed up, too. Haven't seen her in ages.

I told Cia about Etay, about maybe talking with him.

Hopefully she can just tell him she doesn't remember shit. Best way to go, if you have to talk to the cops. I told her, cops are tricky. Hopefully she believes me, and she'll just tell him the minimum so he can go back where he came from.