Journal 10/06/11

Stopped by Cia's hangar today, and I think she set me up. She was sitting there with Hiri - that's the shrink she keeps on staff - when I walked in, and Cia just about ran out of there and left me with her.

I did promise Cia I would talk to Hiri though. If she would too.

So, we talked. I tried to keep it to other things: Cia, how I should approach my trip for info down to Debreth, more general stuff about how you cope with things. We ended up talking about me though, the things that Cia and Silver think I should talk to her about, and I guess I agreed with them. When I was sitting there, though, I just didn't feel sure.

But, I had promised Cia and Silver, so I told her about not liking small spaces, or slaver hounds. A bit about why I didn't like them, about being captured, and how I got my team killed. Some of the things that happened to me, and she had me focus on balancing a match while I did it. She wants me to write a report, too. She thinks she can help, and I hope she can.

She told me a bit about herself too, and at least she's been in a bad place herself, before. Still, I'm not sure. She's so young, and she doesn't know what it is, being a leader and failing your people. Doing nothing and failing them so completely.

I didn't tell her everything. I'm not sure I can. It's been a bit worse lately, and sometimes I wish there were more blooders in the Republic.